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'Tis the season
Dec. 19th, 2003 02:02 amLots of thoughts from today. First, I suppose, this holiday season is a season for the healing of rifts, which is incredible and wonderful and awe-inspiring.
My father's going to be with the rest of us for Christmas for the first time since he moved out. This is good. Unfortunately for him, a major part of the why is this: he got fed up with _his_ familiy's treatment of his ex and children, and this came to a head over Thanksgiving. Ick and a half for him. But Mom and Dad are reaching out to them to try to sort what the HELL happened to make that family drift away from us as much as they have. This last has been more than a decade in coming, and I am in awe that I am seeing it happen.
Similarly, I have been focussed on school for the last six-plus years, and during that time, my brothers have bloody well grown up and become people in their own right, people who for the most part I barely know. I realized at some point recently that the reason I get along the best with Sam is I know him better than the other two - he's changed the least.
Rode north with Tyler, to start with, and had some minor conversation feeling out how he is doing and what he is doing... you know, basic 'hey, who the hell are you today, anyway' stuff. Who, not how, yeah.
Here is an indication of things, which struck me while I was soaking in mom's too-damn-hot-hot-tub: I played Mario Kart Double Dash with Ty and Oz this evening, and felt pleased that that had happened out of proportion with reason. I realized in the tub that at least part of that pleasure was in fact the realization that for all that we were very very different, I was not a _total_ alien to them for my deep and abiding enjoyment of games. I think I have been feeling a subtle isolation for being such a gamer geek. Darn my subconscious mind anyway, it never tells me anything.
Of course, the funny looks they give me will return in force when I pull out the bag I brought with me, the sole contents of which are all of my Spycraft books. I might win some points for showing them the Modern Arms book, but it's still a lot of money to have spent on books. Not that I particularly think spending that quantity on a small piece of metal and plastic which fires plastic balls filled with liquids, which breaks regularly, is any less silly.
Anyway. Made it north, things are going well, if strikingly interestingly. Saturday is my Mom's Christmas party, which is going to be nucking futs, but a lot of fun. Tomorrow will be prep-like-the-Flash-himself day.
Why am I still awake?
My father's going to be with the rest of us for Christmas for the first time since he moved out. This is good. Unfortunately for him, a major part of the why is this: he got fed up with _his_ familiy's treatment of his ex and children, and this came to a head over Thanksgiving. Ick and a half for him. But Mom and Dad are reaching out to them to try to sort what the HELL happened to make that family drift away from us as much as they have. This last has been more than a decade in coming, and I am in awe that I am seeing it happen.
Similarly, I have been focussed on school for the last six-plus years, and during that time, my brothers have bloody well grown up and become people in their own right, people who for the most part I barely know. I realized at some point recently that the reason I get along the best with Sam is I know him better than the other two - he's changed the least.
Rode north with Tyler, to start with, and had some minor conversation feeling out how he is doing and what he is doing... you know, basic 'hey, who the hell are you today, anyway' stuff. Who, not how, yeah.
Here is an indication of things, which struck me while I was soaking in mom's too-damn-hot-hot-tub: I played Mario Kart Double Dash with Ty and Oz this evening, and felt pleased that that had happened out of proportion with reason. I realized in the tub that at least part of that pleasure was in fact the realization that for all that we were very very different, I was not a _total_ alien to them for my deep and abiding enjoyment of games. I think I have been feeling a subtle isolation for being such a gamer geek. Darn my subconscious mind anyway, it never tells me anything.
Of course, the funny looks they give me will return in force when I pull out the bag I brought with me, the sole contents of which are all of my Spycraft books. I might win some points for showing them the Modern Arms book, but it's still a lot of money to have spent on books. Not that I particularly think spending that quantity on a small piece of metal and plastic which fires plastic balls filled with liquids, which breaks regularly, is any less silly.
Anyway. Made it north, things are going well, if strikingly interestingly. Saturday is my Mom's Christmas party, which is going to be nucking futs, but a lot of fun. Tomorrow will be prep-like-the-Flash-himself day.
Why am I still awake?
