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Apr. 25th, 2003 01:15 amA coupla quotes:
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev Jesse Jackson
Pretty unreal. True, but that's _not_ the mouth from which I'd particularly expect to hear this sentiment, this bluntly.
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
Yassir Arrafat (PLO leader - on going to war over religion)
Um. Yeah, I think this one falls under the What The Fuck category.
Dear Abby,
Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? Wondering
Dear Wondering,
The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.
Pithy, accurate, WHY DID SHE ASK THE QUESTION?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much. I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
Not sure how this gal thought she meant the statement...
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
again. WHO WRITES THIS STUPIDITY?
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like apple- sauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
--Groucho Marx
"The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made."
-- Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
--Groucho Marx
"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech."
-- Groucho Marx
Light, fluffy, makes me want to go chase down Duck Soup and a coupla others.
And...
"Health nuts are going to feel awfully stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
-Redd Foxx
*blink* Unique way of putting that sentiment.
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev Jesse Jackson
Pretty unreal. True, but that's _not_ the mouth from which I'd particularly expect to hear this sentiment, this bluntly.
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
Yassir Arrafat (PLO leader - on going to war over religion)
Um. Yeah, I think this one falls under the What The Fuck category.
Dear Abby,
Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? Wondering
Dear Wondering,
The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.
Pithy, accurate, WHY DID SHE ASK THE QUESTION?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much. I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
Not sure how this gal thought she meant the statement...
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
again. WHO WRITES THIS STUPIDITY?
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like apple- sauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
--Groucho Marx
"The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made."
-- Groucho Marx
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
--Groucho Marx
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
--Groucho Marx
"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech."
-- Groucho Marx
Light, fluffy, makes me want to go chase down Duck Soup and a coupla others.
And...
"Health nuts are going to feel awfully stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
-Redd Foxx
*blink* Unique way of putting that sentiment.
